It has been awhile but I have taken a step toward coming out of my Summer cave and into your viewing. Thank you for visiting me!
As many of you know I live my life by the cycles of nature. Although typically the Winter is a time of hybernation, in Florida the heat and bugs are so heavy that we all tend to stay indoors more. I’ve lived most of my life in Florida so my body is attuned to this lifestyle. The craziness of school schedules and after school activities is on halt. I get a chance to slow down, as heat tends to do to us in the tropics. By hybernating it helps me rest and restore the creative energy I have expended throughout the rest of the year’s cycle while I nurture and take more time to self-reflect.
This year, starting at the end of last Summer, has been crazy difficult for me. In retrospect it has felt as if big karma has been burning up and in the bigger cycle of my life a total destructive phase has been at play.
Wanted? Absolutely NOT!
Now that the end of my ordeal has finally arrived I can hardly believe it. I am in a slow observation of every step of this ending, which doesn’t feel like steps yet but more like stillness… maybe even a little stuckness, or maybe I’m just fully in the pause between death and rebirth. It’s like I’ve been dealing with so much mud that it’s difficult to move out of it. I’ve noticed some trauma from it all as well, something I never would have noticed and would have overlooked and stored deep inside only to creep out later in life as karma does so well. Yoga and meditation has helped to be acutely aware of this ending, without jumping to the end before I was really ready. Not that I didn’t try…
became my mantra of anxiety. Then my Big Girl voice would step up and remind me to breathe and allow and appreciate what the NOW had to offer me. There is nothing more grueling to a person wanting to NOT be in the posiition one is in, wishing it to be over as soon as possible, but having absolutely no control over that (pregnant and birthing women relate??). All I could do was be where I was, wait, and live in the joy I could focus on:
So I did, as much as possible. There’s nothing like the cozy arms of family (both blood and extended) to fall into to remember no matter what, I am loved. Nothing like yoga and meditation both to nurture my ever contracting body, mind and heart in the midst of difficulty. And what unexpectedly arose from so deep within me was both playing and listening to live music, awakening in me the connection between yoga and music as I would feel so cleansed and revived afterward. The inspiration to create it emerged out of my soul, like a beautiful sequence of asanas felt so intuitively, flowing and unfolding themselves out of my soul.
“Yoga is like music: the rhythm of the body, the melody of the mind, and the harmony of the soul create the symphony of life.” – BKS Iyengar
Well now it feels as if a new me is emerging. I like this new me… she’s more appreciative, more insightful, more patient (just a little!), more skilled at living and much more soulful. But give her time… she’s in slow-motion observation and experiencing. And she knows there are so many gems now she holds to offer her tribe.
Walking my talk is not something I take lightly. And I’m happy to have you to share my stories with. After all, why have these experiences if I can’t share them?
Sending love from my soulful heart to yours…
