Leo Full Moon: The I-maker needs a check-in

Hello!

Let me introduce you to my Self: self, meet Self, your conscious divine You, your Witness, your All-Knowing. I know you have met before but maybe didn’t notice Self, but Self has noticed you for a long time now.

Self: Please, take a seat and let’s have some tea and a meaningful dialogue. I know how your mom and aunts and brother are, I know how your job is going, your kids, school, bank account. I hear you all the time talking about them and to them actually. I feel your work stress in your neck, your anxiety in your jaw every time you look at your bank statements, your feelings of inadequacy when you think about always being alone… But it’s time we have an intentional chat: a self check-in, a good look in the mirror.

self: Ohhhhh, You!!! Hello Me. I really need to talk to You but I can’t right now… I have a million things to do and say and think about other than You! My neck hurts and I ate too much last night so I’m off to work out, then the chiropractor, then I need to juice to detox since my belly hurts all the time, then I have to get back to work…

Self: And I’m watching you run around like a tornado spinning, leaving dust and debris in your tracks. How about a pause to listen, truly listen inside?

slowing down your pace

your breath

your movement

your thoughts

that’s right

feel how your body softens to the sound of your own inner voice

your breath deepens into the dark small crevices within you, expanding spaces within your body

How often do you give yourself a pause and ask your Self, that other voice in your head, that divine loving voice who wants to hold you and hear you and love you and listen without the gavel of judgment whether what you are doing or saying is good OR bad, right or wrong:

how am I doing? what am I not seeing? what habits are not helping me be bigger in the world? what can I take notice of today I haven’t noticed yet about me? what am I holding onto that is causing unconscious pain and suffering versus freedom and passionate bliss? 

This Leo Full Moon on saturday, January 25 is enveloped by an action oriented Mars energy that all month has been hungry for us to make a shift. With the added benefit of the inward thought focused Mercury in retrograde the cosmos are yearning for us to pull out the shovels and dig deep past the surface of the ego and conscious mind and into the ground of our souls, to shine the full moon light on and pull out the long held weeds

take a good long look at them

notice

embrace them

let them be

and like a conscious soul traveler

Move. On.

According to the yoga tradition there are several layers of ego. The ego that likes to hold onto the not-so-nourishing energy of not-so-nice experience and claim it as WHO YOU ARE is called asmita. The ego that recognizes sensations of experience that simply differentiate me from you is called the ahamkara, the I-maker. This helps to define boundaries between you and me. What makes up me is different from what makes up you, on the surface of experience. It allows us to have experiences together and yet perceive differently and subsequently create uniquely. The problem comes when we start to identify with smita’s grasp on the past and creation of separation between me and you and then we associate the self as the Self. We get tangled up in the blue of our experience and forget about the bigger Self we arise from.

A kind of ‘I am not you and never will be you’ attitude, my pain is deeper than your pain, my truth is way different than yours and therefore you are a loser, dork, weirdo, idiot…you get the idea.

Aggression, reactions, violence and then war follow from this self-association.

Self: What are you thinking? (smacks self lovingly around a bit)

Take a sip of your tea

that’s right

ALLOW

your inner body to brighten your outer body’s dullness

your thoughts to be illuminated by your association to Me

I’m here

Always have been

Always will be

I’m the light that shines in you always

I’m the fire that burns away at your walls of defense

I’m the heat that melts the stiff iron rod attitudes you’ve attached to

I’m the comfort in your discomfort

the rememberment in your dismemberment

I’m the arms that hold you when you surrender into the warmth of Me

I am not you

I am something like you

I am nothing but you

Burn Ego Burn

“Set your life on fire, seek those who fan your flames” ~ Rumi